Dear Porn Searcher,

Sorry to disappoint you, but this is NOT a porn site. There’s no free pussy, wet pussy, or hot granny porn to click on. And you certainly can’t rate my pussy but you can see a beautiful and tasteful painting of my vagina here. I made it for my husband’s birthday and then ending up in hospital. I have truly suffered for my art.

But you don’t care for my painting do you? You just want to flog your log. Or were you actually looking for pictures of wet cats? Cats are very popular on the Internet these days. I've included a wet cat gif to make it easier for you. You can probably stop searching now and go about your day.

I mean, how do we get through the day without someone posting a photo of Grumpy Cat? But I digress...  

I understand I have the word ‘vagina’ in my URL, so it’s only natural that my site would pop up while you are surfing the web for porn. After all, porn doesn’t surf itself and you have needs, I get that. 

It’s unfortunate that those of us trying to promote women’s health are tarred with the same brush, but hey, I accept that. It was a controversial decision to put the word ‘vagina’ in my book title, but I went ahead and did it anyway.

If you’re still with me and you’re interested in knowing the real reason behind my confrontational title, please read on.

The Vagina Buffet is actually a chapter in my book. It doesn’t refer to an all-you-can-eat smorgasbord of vaginas, rather, a statement my Renal specialist made to me during an appointment with him. I wont bore you with it now; I know you need to keep searching. You can read the full story here if you’re interested.

So once you’ve satisfied your needs, feel free to visit my site again and buy a copy of my book. There are illustrations of real vaginas in the book and some funny stories you might find interesting. You may even learn a little something about women, which could lead to you spending less time searching the net and more time in an intimate relationship with an actual human being.

Thanks for stopping by; I hope you find what you’re looking for.

SJ x

 

Image: Shutterstock

Comments

[Cgve]

This made me LOL Writing the types of books and blogs that we do it is always fun to check out the words people who have entered certain search words and come across(oops sorry) your site. Makes for interesting reading. Sadly we are not what they are looking for.
Thanks again for the giggle. Caitlin Grace