I love
Kelly Osbourne. I watch her on Fashion
Police every week, I follow her on Twitter and I want her fabulous purple
hair! She’s been hit with almost everything life could possibly throw at her,
yet she’s come out the other side, an inspiration. She’ll tell you she’s not
perfect, but heck, who is?!
She recently
attended the Cosmopolitan Ultimate Women
Awards and when asked what the best thing about being a woman was, she
said, "The best thing about
being a woman is having a vagina."
Well Kelly, I agree.
Vaginas are flippin’ amazing
and so are the women attached to them. We orgasm, we bleed, we push babies out
of them. Vaginas are as individual as snowflakes and it’s what sets us apart
from our male friends. Kelly, you are equally amazing and, if you’re up for it,
I’d love to have you appear on my celebrity vagina page. Just have your people,
contact my people.
In other celebrity vagina
news, Anne Hathaway has been photographed flashing her bush-free muff (à la
Britney Spears). She was attending the New York premiere of Les Misérables when her super-tight Tom Ford dress rode up and
revealed she wasn’t wearing any panties (you can see the uncensored photo here).
Now I’m totally up for not wearing underwear to bed, I like to let my little
lady friend ‘breathe,’ but to not wear nickers to a public event seems a little
crazy to me.
I’ve been experiencing
light bladder leakage lately and a big cough or a huge sneeze ultimately leads
to a spot of urine in my undies. So there’s just no way I would go out,
especially in a designer dress, without underwear. All I can say is, Anne, you
must have a great pelvic floor!
Until next time, keep your
undies on and your legs closed. SJx
So we’re a little behind in our E! News here
in Australia. Last night we watched the season finale of Keeping up with the
Kardashians, where Kourtney Kardashian pulled baby Penelope out of her own
vagina.
Did you see it? Oh, if you have Foxtel, you
have to see this episode!
I mean, I can barely bend down to tie my own shoelaces
these days and Kourtney is, after many hours of labour, bending over, reaching
for her daughter and pulling her right out of her lady garden! In all my years
of listening to birth stories, this has never been mentioned. Not ever.
And in true Kardashian style, everyone was
there. Scott, Kim, Kanye, Khloé, Kendall, Kylie, Kris, Rob and all of us. At first, I thought there
were too many people in the room, but thinking back to my own daughters
c-section birth, there was ten people in the theatre plus Mikey and it didn’t
seem strange at all, in fact, it was quite comforting. This is what I love
about the Kardashians though, they are a family and they share everything.
My family is so dysfunctional, we can’t even get everyone together for a
funeral. So for all their faults, and there are many, I still love them. They
stick together, fanny flashing and all.
In other celebrity vagina
news, author JK Rowling’s first book for adults The Casual Vacancy was just released. The
book, which I haven’t read and probably wont, apparently contains the phrase
“miraculously unguarded vagina”, so obviously the new book was dubbed “Harry
Potter and the Miraculously Unguarded Vagina”. This is so much better and I would
most likely consider buying it if it had this catchy title LOL. Although, like
Naomi Wolf, myself and many others with “vagina” in their book title, Apple
iTunes Bookstore would make it hard for readers to find. They’re not happy with
the V word and initially censored it to v****a, until they bowed to public
pressure and they are now displaying the word.
While we’re talking about books, I’m
currently reading Signposts by Denise Linn. She describes how the
universe is communicating to us through signs and tells us how to interpret
coincidences and symbols in our life. I’ve
only read the first few chapters, yet I’m thinking actress Olivia Wilde is all
over this concept like a rash. Olivia has recently gone public about the end of
her eight-year marriage to Italian prince Tao Ruspoli. Saying her vagina died
and she knew it was time to go. In the signpost dictionary, Denise lists the
vagina as a powerful symbol of womanliness and it is the inner valley of
spirit.
I love Olivia, she listened to her inner
spirit, she consulted her vagina and when her lady flower showed signs of
wilting, she did something about it. Perhaps those of us with a vagina could
take a minute every now and then. Powwow with our downstairs girlfriend and
check to see if she’s ok.
I’ve done this many times and it works, so
now it’s your turn. Let me know how you get on.
Oh, and Khloé, if you’re reading this,
would you please take part in my celebrity vagina? I’d be ever so grateful.
Until next time, love your lady goodies with all the celebrity fanfare you can muster! SJx
Cheers to everyone who participated in our recent e-poll "have you ever vajazzled your vajayjay?" I'm thrilled that 25% of you do. I know when I jazz up my 'jayjay' it makes me walk with a spring in my step and a smile on my face.. perhaps you should try it?
Vajazzling (for the 38% of you who asked "what the hell is it...?) is where vaginas meet bedazzling. A freshly waxed fanny is spotted with Swarovski crystals in shapes or initials and there you have it, a sparkly disco ball in your panties!
In the salon, I've been putting bling on people's things for years, but only recently was it made famous by Jennifer Love Hewitt and her post break-up solution for unhappy fannies.
