This morning, I went to my GP with some health concerns. Nothing major, but as I'm thinking of joining the gym, I wanted to make sure I was in tip-top condition. She gave me a quick examination in the surgery, then sent me away for some blood tests and a stool sample.
Before I went for my tests, I stopped off for a quick bite to eat with my lovely friend Alana.
Over a tuna Turkish roll, I was telling her how my GP wants me to give her a stool sample. Alana's response was "I bet you get a poo story out of this!"
"How on earth would I get a poo story from collecting a poo specimen jar?" I thought. We finished lunch, said goodbye and I drove to the nearest pathology centre.
I walked in and the phlebotomist lady took my details. She asked me where my stool sample was and I explained that I had only just seen my Doctor and I had to collect a specimen jar before providing the actual specimen. She got a jar from the supply cupboard and left it on the front desk for me to take home.
She then led me into the consultation room and began to withdraw blood from my veins. I asked her how her day was and I unleashed a beast! She hadn't had lunch, her son was bashed in a pub Friday night, her daughter-in-law fell off a balcony and broke her nose, they spent 6 hours in the ER and she shouldn't have been at work because her grandson needed looking after. Poor love was almost in tears telling me. I wished there was something I could do to cheer her up.
She placed a band-aid on my arm and walked me to the front desk. I thanked her for the painless procedure and headed out the door. I quickly remembered I left my specimen jar on the front desk, so I raced back to get it. Heading back towards the door, the phlebotomist lady screamed at me to stop. While we were in the room extracting blood, another person had called in to drop-off their poo specimen and had placed it on the desk, right next to my empty brown jar. In my rush to get home, I had picked up the specimen jar with the other persons poo sample!! O.M.G. I was heading home with someone else’s shit in my handbag! Mortifying yet hilarious.
The phlebotomist lady checked the specimen jars and checked them again. She was almost on the floor laughing at what had just happened and said it was the funniest thing she’s ever seen in all her years in pathology. I’m glad she got a laugh, and the people in the waiting room too. Now everyone knows I’m submitting a stool sample tomorrow – let’s hope it’s less eventful than today’s brouhaha.
How about you? Do you have a poo story? Thinking my next book could quite possible be about the brown stuff!
